In a relationship, the most painful thing is to believe that you and your partner still love each other deeply, only to find one day that the other person has gradually distanced themselves. Relationship problems often accumulate through small issues, like sugar or some chronic illness. By the time you realize, the other person has already drifted away. The most hurtful part is the affair. Love brings two people together, and you give a part of yourself to carry your partner's life. That's why when your partner cheats, it feels like your soul has been taken in an instant. To prevent being hurt, we will discuss the mindset of men having affairs in this article, hoping that all women can notice early and avoid heartless men, eventually finding their own happiness.

What Are the Characteristics of Men Who Have Affairs? 3 Types of Men to Be Extra Careful About

Rather than saying men like to cheat, it is more accurate to say that men like the person they become during an affair or the person they are seen as by the affair partner. This can be attributed to men's narcissistic tendencies. Based on this mentality, men fall into the destructive behavior of having affairs without considering the consequences.

• Men Who Have Affairs Often Have Narcissistic Personalities

  In both Eastern and Western societies, influenced by patriarchal traditions, society often holds men to higher standards, such as earning more than their partner, owning a house and car when married, being able to care for women, and making women feel happy and relaxed. Because society sets higher expectations for men, they naturally develop a sense of entitlement like “I’ve sacrificed so much, I want to be worshipped.” Therefore, the third party in an affair may not be more attractive in terms of appearance or figure than the spouse, but men often find self-esteem in them.

• Successful Men Seeking Admiration

  Whether in romantic relationships or marriages, the initial attraction might stem from appearance, talent, or personality. Initially, you may view your partner as a shining star, focusing on nothing else. But there's a saying, "Time will fade everything," and indeed, as time passes, the glow of your partner diminishes. Even if a man is successful in his career, he may no longer find admiration in his partner. At this point, he might seek external validation from the affair partner, craving acknowledgment of his success.

• Men With Free Time

  It's not just successful men who have affairs—men with too much free time are also at risk. This can happen if their partner is too busy to meet their emotional needs, leading them to seek the attention and affection of a third party. Having free time creates opportunities for affairs, allowing them to release pent-up desires. Therefore, men with idle time are also common types involved in affairs.

Ultimately, a man who cheats will cheat, and the reasons can vary based on personality and circumstances. The examples mentioned are drawn from our past cases, but whether or not your partner will cheat depends on your relationship and mutual understanding.

What is the Mindset of Men Who Have Affairs? Why Do Men Have Affairs?

• Lack of Satisfaction in Sexual Matters

  When a man is not satisfied sexually, it’s not just about "sexual desire" or "sexual needs." We can resolve sexual needs through self-pleasure without harming the partner. But, if we think carefully, is sex just about fulfilling physical desire? Most people would say no. In sex, we seek intimacy between two people, and through skin-to-skin contact, it often feels like our hearts connect. What we gain is not just sexual satisfaction, but also the shared experience of doing something to please each other, which makes us feel loved. Therefore, if a man feels rejected in this aspect by his partner, his first reaction isn’t just to look for someone to fulfill his physical needs; instead, he worries, "Am I no longer loved?" and then looks for someone else for emotional validation.

• Unable to Satisfy Vanity with Partner

  According to surveys, less than 10% of men cheat because the affair partner is more attractive than the spouse. That is, men cheating solely due to external appearance is rare. As we mentioned earlier, narcissism and the desire to be worshipped are essential parts of a man's personality. These traits originally come from the family and spouse, but when these elements fade over time in the relationship, men may seek a third party who satisfies their vanity.

• Seeking Comfort During Setbacks

  When a man faces setbacks in his career, he may experience financial struggles at home, and his wife may criticize him or remind him of everyday household problems. If his career falters and his face is tarnished at home, he might seek comfort from a third party. It's not surprising if he looks for solace outside. If his family and career are in trouble but he doesn’t make an effort to rebound, it becomes hard to understand.

What Are the Signs of a Man Having an Affair? 4 Major Signs to Look Out For

Love is a two-way street. When one side changes, the other is unlikely to be completely oblivious. Therefore, the signs that a man is having an affair are important to notice. Prevention is better than cure.

• Becomes Focused on His Appearance

  In long-term relationships, the excitement fades, and both partners become more comfortable and less concerned with appearances. But suddenly, if your partner starts paying attention to how he dresses, works out, and shows interest in things like music, poetry, or photography, it’s time to be cautious. Is he doing this to attract someone else?

• Unpredictable Schedule

  Intimacy between people often requires time. If you notice that your partner is suddenly working overtime, attending more social events, or making plans with friends more often, it’s worth paying attention to whether his reasons align with his actions.

• His Phone Becomes an Obsession

  In today’s world, a phone is an essential tool for communication. Many secrets are hidden in it. If you notice your partner is suddenly very secretive with his phone, changing passwords, or acting suspicious when you handle his phone, it’s time to observe closely and gather more information.

• Keeps His Salary and Expenses Secret

  Due to the influence of patriarchal society, men are often expected to manage financial matters. If a man is having an affair, his expenses on gifts, dining, or accommodation might increase. He may become secretive about his salary and spending, which is a warning sign that someone might be demanding financial support.

Can Good Men Have Affairs?

What defines a "good man"? Is it wealth? Free time? A man who understands your emotions? A man who loves his family and home? In fact, the definition of a "good man" is quite vague. It's hard for one man to embody all the qualities you might want, just as there's no such thing as a perfect person. A man who loves his family may not be very ambitious in his career; a man who sacrifices family time for career success may do so at the cost of family bonding.

A good man can still cheat, and you should consider whether his "goodness" is only directed toward you. As mentioned earlier, wealthy men, idle men, and those who understand women's psychology can also cheat. Ultimately, "good" is just a societal perception of a man’s qualities in relationships. It has little to do with whether he will stay with you forever. If we were to say which type of man is less likely to cheat, it might be the one who truly loves you.

Why Don’t Men Want to Divorce After Having an Affair? 4 Reasons

• Men Don’t Want to Leave Their Children

  An affair doesn’t always mean a man no longer loves his wife and family. It’s often due to a temporary feeling of novelty. If a man no longer loves his wife but is unwilling to divorce, it's often because of his children. Loving a wife and loving children are different matters. When a man cheats and his wife insists on divorce, he may face custody issues, which makes him reluctant to divorce. Additionally, men may feel guilty about not providing a complete family for their children, so they prefer to maintain the illusion of a perfect family.

• Paying Divorce Alimony

  If a man earns more than his wife in the marriage, he might be required to pay a significant amount of post-divorce assets to her. He feels that losing his family while having to pay money is not worth it, especially if he doesn’t love his affair partner enough to abandon his family for an uncertain and unethical relationship.

• His Wife Takes Care of the Family

  Influenced by traditional societal norms, many households in Taiwan still follow the model where men work outside and women manage the home. Even if a man has an affair, he may not be able to leave his wife, who has been managing household chores and taking care of the children. Divorce would disrupt this well-maintained order.

• His Reputation Matters

  Reputation is often the most important thing to a man. He needs it for work, social gatherings, and even during reunions with old friends. If he divorces, what would he say when classmates or friends ask about his family? It’s either lies or silence.

What’s the Real Reason a Man Comes Back After an Affair?

• Social Pressure and the Comfort of Home

  Affairs are inherently against social and moral norms. If a divorce becomes a court case, and everyone knows about it, how can the man face others? The pressure to maintain his social image may lead him to discard the affair and return to his warm home.

• After the Honeymoon Phase, He Realizes His Wife Is Better than the Mistress

  As the saying goes, "The home flower is not as fragrant as the wildflower." Over time, even the "wildflower" loses its charm. Eventually, the excitement of the affair fades, and the man may see his wife as a better companion than the mistress.

• After the Passion Fades, He Wants to Return to a Stable Life

  The excitement of an affair usually fades quickly, but the bond with the spouse has deepened over time. The man may realize that despite the affair's passion, his life with his wife, children, and shared memories outweighs the fleeting emotions of the affair.

• Self-Reflection

  Even though he committed the unpardonable act, his conscience remains intact. When he sees family photos, his wedding ring, and his children, he realizes that it’s not love that has disappeared, but rather that his feelings have evolved into something more complex over the years.

How to Protect Yourself if Your Husband Cheats and You Decide to Divorce?

If you find yourself in a situation where your husband is having an affair and you are heading toward divorce, it’s important to protect yourself legally. Whether it’s filing a lawsuit against the third party for infringing on your rights, drafting a divorce agreement, managing marital property, alimony, or child custody, these are all crucial issues that will impact your future. It’s recommended to seek professional legal assistance and consult with an investigation agency to gather evidence of the affair. This evidence can be crucial during negotiations or court proceedings.